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Examining the Power of Fear
Rosemarie Rossetti, Ph.D.

On a recent flight from Pittsburg to my home in Columbus, the US Airways flight attendant, Trent Pettibone, assisted me from my wheelchair to my seat and showed me the location of the closest emergency exits. Since I can’t walk due to my spinal cord injury, he asked me “How can I assist you if we have to get out really fast?” I answered, “I’ll jump on your back and you can carry me out!” To that he replied, “I’m stronger when I’m scared!” We both had a good laugh!

As I sat on the flight on the way home, his comment resonated with me. Are there occasions when I am afraid and feel stronger? In what circumstances does this occur? How can fear bring me strength? How would I get out of the plane in an emergency, if Trent were not available? What additional strength would I need to help get me out?

To better understand the element of fear, I did a little research. Fear is a strong emotional feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger. It is accompanied by self-directed activity. This activity is often caused by an adrenaline rush.

There have been times in my life where an adrenaline rush has given me the strength to act faster and get myself out of the way of danger. Quick thinking on my part has helped me avoid many accidents. I can recall many times driving my van when I quickly responded by applying the brake when another car got too close to me, thus avoiding a collision.

My husband, Mark, told me that seven years ago when the tree fell on top of me, he was able to rush to my rescue and with the help of two other passersby, they were able to get me out from under a 3 1/2 ton tree. Terror is intense overpowering fear. Fear has a way of bringing us strength. The more intense the fear, the more strength we are able to muster.

In some situations, we take quick action in response to fear. However, in other situations, we are often paralyzed by the fear and the awareness of danger. We become confused and helpless. Our inactivity oftentimes results in an inability to more forward in life. We avoid the situation and confrontation of our fears. Internally, we still feel agitated, apprehensive or anxious. We dread facing our fears.

I have often found the acronym for fear, “False Evidence Appearing Real” has given me a healthier perspective and helped me to face what I fear.

Upon moving toward that event, person, or activity that I fear, I slowly find that the fear was created in my own mind. As I take what action is needed, the fear disappears.

We can each examine what lies ahead in the immediate future that we have been putting off due to fear. Think about the consequence of not following through and doing what is necessary to complete the task. An analysis may reveal the opportunity that you could risk by not following through. That realization of what you can lose may bring your strength. Fear can be a fuel to courage.

Copyright © 2005, Rosemarie Rossetti, Ph.D. - Rossetti Enterprises Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.
Reprinted with Permission: Rosemarie Rossetti March 2006

What part of your past are you holding onto that is keeping you from moving forward in life? Knowing the answer to this question can be freeing.

What event in your past has caused you pain and is keeping you from happiness? Why aren’t you letting go of the past? What is holding you back? How much longer can you afford to continue to hold on?

Oftentimes major setbacks and disappointments throw us a curve. Divorce, natural disasters, death of a loved one, illness, injury, or job termination can result in a period of depression and a deep sense of loss. The change in our lives that follows is sometimes overwhelming.

For me, that time came seven years ago, after I sustained a spinal cord injury and was paralyzed from the waist down. Life was radically changed, and I knew that I wanted my life back. I had a lot invested in my life and wanted to find my place in the world again.

I sometimes clung to the way things used to be, and became sad. My attitude about life and about my future looked bleak in the early days after my injury. I was struggling to deal with the physical and emotional pain. I also was trying to find the answer as to “Why?” this injury occurred to me.

Yet, as I managed to slowly bounce back, I saw a shift in my perspective. I looked ahead at my life and saw that I needed to adapt to the change and learn how to adjust to my life in a body that no longer functioned as it used to. I had to embrace the change rather than resist it. I had to rebuild and transform my life and career.

It was easier for me once I accepted what had happened to me and took a more proactive approach. Yes, I had been the victim when a 3 ½ ton tree fell on me and caused my injury, but I didn’t want to maintain that victimized mind-set for too long. I had to take control of my recovery and rebuild my life.

In time, I started to see that life presented possibilities instead of limitations. The adversity was teaching me lessons and helping me to help others improve their life situations. I shared these lessons with others by speaking to groups and writing monthly articles.

Others also can have an easier time regaining their footing if they change their thoughts and follow through on actions that lead them to a happier life. Sometimes the past cannot be reclaimed and circumstances are such that we have to yield to them. The hurt returns to haunt us. We miss what we once had and long for the past. Holding on to the past may hold us back from a potentially brighter future.

You may find that you need to free yourself from your own thoughts. No one else is holding you down. Like a thin strand of a spider’s web, you can cut the ties when you make a firm commitment. As thoughts enter your mind to bring you back to the painful times and negative feelings about yourself and your current situation, recommit to let go of your past.

If you have self doubt about whether you can do what is needed to let go, enlist the help of others, such as counselors, friends and family. From time to time, our attitudes will slip back momentarily into the past that we are trying to forget. Focus on how far you have come, rather than retreat to a part of your life that brought you sorrow.

A positive attitude goes a long way in recovering from negative events in our lives. Learning to let go gives us wings to fly away from the pain and into a world full of potential, freedom and abundance.

Copyright © 2005, Rosemarie Rossetti, Ph.D. - Rossetti Enterprises Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.
Reprinted with Permission: Rosemarie Rossetti Feb 2006

One of my friends, Marie, in the United Kingdom, recently sent me an e-mail about the Rule of the Last Inch. Each day as I worked, the rule kept coming into my mind, and was affecting me. I became intrigued and began to find out more about the rule and the person who wrote about it.

Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn, Russian novelist, historian and 1970 Nobel Prize for Literature winner, wrote The First Circle, a novel set in Russia during the reign of Stalin. In this book, he described the Rule of the Last Inch. The rule is focused on getting work done - with a high standard of quality - approaching perfection.

This book was released in 1968 and was based on his years working in a prison research institute as a mathematician. He worked alongside other top researchers and shared his observations.

Solzhenitsyn wrote about how when we are finishing our job, and the goal is almost attained, everything we imagined is achieved, every difficulty is overcome and yet, the quality is not there. The project needs more attention, development, research, and polish.

At the end of a project we are working on, we are oftentimes too weary and self satisfied to strive for excellence. The temptation is to give up! The Rule of the Last Inch tells us that we should not leave the work undone. We should not put off finishing the project, because our mind loses touch with the work we were doing when we procrastinate. The rule is not focused on how much time it will take to get the job done, because the goal is not to finish the job quickly.

This rule raises the bar in performance standards. The focus is on quality not quantity. Quality is the result of great expectation, perseverance and expert execution.

It is easy to see in one’s life that there are instances when this rule should be enforced. As we produce products and services in our jobs, we need to continuously evaluate how to achieve excellence, how to be the best or the “Cream of the Crop.” Having this superior reputation certainly will bring us notoriety in an industry.

I think about those uniquely talented individuals who are well known for what they do: musicians, actors, singers, writers, painters, crafts people, teachers, speakers, athletes, sales professionals, doctors, and business owners. When I see them doing what they do best, I am in awe of their performance. I may not think about the years it took them to perfect what they do and how they do it. These individuals incorporate the rule into their lives on a consistent basis.

I am reminded of a T-shirt I saw several years ago that read, “Things of Quality Have No Fear of Time.” There have been many occasions in my life when I have recalled this phrase as I approached and continued to work on a difficult project. My thoughts about the importance of the quality of my work served to motivate me to continue.

I realize that whatever I do is a reflection of who I am and what I am capable of doing. Tenacity carries me to finally complete projects.

We all need to reflect on how we can enhance the quality of our work. The extra time spent is oftentimes minimal compared to the difference in the results that we can achieve. In the fast paced world we live in, we must be cautious not to circumvent the process that leads to better results. That last inch, extra push, or final polish can make the difference between mediocre and magnificent.

Copyright © 2005, Rosemarie Rossetti, Ph.D. - Rossetti Enterprises Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.
Reprinted with Permission: Rosemarie Rossetti Jan 2006